The End of This Road

8 10 2009
lok | einde | la fin | τέλος | В конце | نهاية | Samer Farha

lok | einde | la fin | τέλος | В конце | نهاية | Samer Farha

“The End”

Part of any endeavor that we start on is having a passion and the drive to see it through to the end. From time to time, though, we find ourselves in situations of our making that we no longer wish to be in. Quitting, though, is often the last thing we do. We keep on keeping, soldiering through it, hoping the bits we don’t like will magically change to things we do. Eventually, we are done. Relieved, we look back and pronounce it "good enough."

"Good enough" might be good enough for the government. It might be good enough when compromise is required. It might be good enough for a anything not life changing or impacting. But "good enough" should never be good enough for things born of passion: exploring, art, or inspiration.

Part of any endeavor is knowing when to quit. It is knowing when a project has gone from inspired to repetitive; from exploration to familiarity; from art to fish wrapper. More importantly than knowing it is time to quit is the act of quitting, itself.

This is the 278th picture in my 365 Days Project. I had intended to explore myself, to become more comfortable in front of the camera, and to produce, along the way, some imagery that one could call art (if one were so inclined). I’ve accomplished some of that, and I’m happy with the parts that reached beyond “good enough.” The problem is, “good enough” is what this project has become.

This project should have ended a while ago. I even realized it a while back: I didn’t want to direct people to my Flickr account for fear that would see the mediocrity this has become. Repetitive shots, taken poorly, with little thought. That wasn’t the idea at the beginning.

This project hasn’t sapped my creativity, but it has mirrored my lack of enthusiasm. I have thousands of pictures shot over the last few months that need editing. I’m not really motivated to do so, and part of it a feeling of mediocrity. Recently, though, I had the opportunity to do a shoot with a model. Her reaction to the finished photos left me speechless, and has certainly reminded me that I can still be inspired when I decide I want to be.

I don’t know where I’m going photographically, but I do know that I want to distance myself from this level of mediocre. I want to go back to basics, and to shoot those things that I enjoy. I want to be creative again, and I don’t think I can do that with this particular subject. With any luck, this is the next chapter of photography for me. Stick around, it might even be good.





Pieces of Me

2 01 2009
Reflections on Art | by Samer Farha

"Reflections on Art | by Samer Farha

Going all the way back to my days in television, I’ve been more interested in being behind the camera than being in front of it and a large part of the reason is that I don’t really like pictures of me.

I suppose most people at some point in their lives wind up disliking something about their self image. People don’t like hearing their own voice, for instance. They don’t like seeing their picture, even when others consider it art. God help them if they spot themselves on television.

I don’t know enough about psychology (and, frankly, neither do the psychologists) to tell you why this is. But people do become more comfortable with more exposure. When you do radio or television, even if it is rarely, you have to get used to seeing and hearing yourself. It’s like walking in front of the mirror. You get used to it, even if you don’t totally approve of what you see.

As I’ve befriended more photographers, and as I’ve gone to more and more Flickr outings, I find that I’ve had to become more comfortable with my image. Photography outings are as much about the portrait taking opportunities as they are about discussions on art or the drinking of beer. Pictures of me pop up here and there on the site, and I find that I cringe less and less.

Partly, this is because I’m more comfortable with who I am than I’ve ever been in my life. Partly, this is because of the “mirror effect”. Partly, it helps that many of the photographers are very talented and make me look good. But, on top of that, I also get to see more than a single view of me. Rather than one static picture portraying whatever state I was in, I can see changes over time. Like a documentary, but lived out over several months.

Because of my comfort, a smidgen of narcissism, and because I want to document my life over this year of change, I’ve decided to start doing a 365 project. The concept is simple: take and post a self image once a day for a year. I won’t always make the deadline, but I will try and make it up.

This is going to be a year of change and reflection: the new president and his agenda; work is becoming more challenging; plans for a more sustained push into photography and programming; my 40th birthday. It all adds up, and it all warrants documenting. Piece by piece.